Master speaks , minions listen

Today was a mess.
But a funny one.

Today a customer came in begging , literally begging if he can get a hamburger.
My boss was about to say no , when I shouted from the kitchen " OK NO PROBLEM "
I can't denie someone something I'd beg for myself.
At calm days (wich today wasn't) I usually don't mind the à la minute requests that are not on the menu. Unless it's French fries .. I'd set my dogs on those people.

My boss in an already short and pissy mood : " Then you can get that order and ask him how he wants it" .. throwing a nasty sideways glance at me .. when i walked to the customer with a big grin. He wanted a cheeseburger .. so I told him ok i'll do it one condition.
That he'd let me do with the burger what I wanted to do with it, how I wanted to make it.
He said yes. Good boy.
But !
It was busy, very busy ... so i kinda had to shout instruction over my shoulder to the help. Who's (god friggin bless) bright and quick to take instructions.

So from the goodness of my heart, I'll share the recipy, but if I EVER catch taht burger on ANY menu that's not mine .. I'm going to killllllllllll them !

You take about 500 grams grinded beef(it's a lot but hey .. big ammounts you know).
Take two egs.
One onion.
Three thoes of garlic (or two, depending how you like it).
BLACK pepper.
Arachide oil.
Pepper and salt.
A thin slice of camembert (coeur de lion)
A thin (!) slice of tomato and a piece of lettuce. (green lollo .. or iceberg; if you MUST ...)

Seperate the yokes from the eggwhites .. you can dispose of the eggwhites.
Cut the onion in very small pieces, best you cut slices of them then cut those slices in brunoise (2 milimeter on 2 milimeter .. it's a lot more easy then it looks if you can get hold of a big knife and cut it fast without ever taking the tip of the knife from the cutting board, bend your fingers so the blade edges off your fingers .. it's the easiest part ! mwhuaha .. )
Squize the garlic .. mix with the onion.
Put the eggyokes in the grinded beef, then add the onion/garlic mixture with it.
Best to do it in that order, because the yokes give substance to the meat, before you add the onion/garlic .. it will crumble if you put that in first, making it harder to stick together again after.
Add pepper and salt.
Mix well. Make it spread even amongst the beef. ( beef .. wich is from cows .. not pigs ... )
And use your hands !! (pff .. you think you stay clean ?!)


Bake both sides evenly.
When you are done with that, (i'd suggest to) take the thin piece of tomato, and put it in the pan after you already turned off the stove. (thin because you'd burn your mouth if it was thick, tomato's = water = HOT WHEN HEATED)
Don't overdo the tomato .. it just have to have that 'scared' look. The skin jumpy look.
Hard to explain with words ... you learn by seeing and doing.
In the mean while you have already put the piece of camembert on the burger and in a sandwich. Take the tomato slice out and put it on the camembert. Put the lettuce on top of that, other part of the sandwich .. decorate .. serve.

Needless to say .. that is delicious .. and very quick to make.
And the help didn't do bad at all *big grin* aaw bless .. i taught someone something useful.
And to think I feel the shakes around my heart and in my legs every time a help sais "you want me to cook ? "

One once took a knife and went at a can with it !
Really ... this you had to see ... all of us who where in the vascinity yelled STOP around the same time. " Don't butcher the can .. you can loose your fingers .. AND BREAK MY KNIFE you know how much this costs ?! "
Another once said " oh don't worry I'll cut it " .. took my best knife and slammed it on the veggie on the cutting board in the most violant and dumbass way you can think off .. less of half a meter near me .. and my hands... after just explaining to him twice how to do it ! Showing it .. veeeery slooowwwwllyyyyyyy..... " think surgean not butcher ! "
I was almost afraid to grab his wrists and look at him in a very threathening way saying " do you plan to kill me ? .. Are you even looking lest LISTENING when I try to explain something to you ?! "
Probably not, because the simplest of things needed to be said, explained, repeated, then explained again.
Now .. how many times and in how many different ways can one say/understand " put it in the box "
On the box when it's upside down?
"Put it IN the box "
On the lid of the box?
" ... IN the BOX "
On the upside down side from the lid of the box?
" IN THE FRIGGIN BOX ... IN IT ... IN (!) "
In the box .. and a questioning look that just made want to pull my hairs out.
" like this ? "
" YES DUMBASS .. IN the box ! "
And sure , deontologically speaking I shouldn't have called him a dumbass.
But believe it or not .. it was out before I realised.

If you think I'm joking ........ *just sighs* there where witnesses.
And you'd think he's trying to pull a joke.
One look at his face would have told you otherwise......... utter .... complete ... void of comprehension.

Native language not the same as the country we're living in?
Why not at all ....
He's less of a foreigner then I am ...
Well those days are over mhwuaha. I can only say that I hope .. dearly .. not ever having to deal with that level of retardedness EVER again. There's only so much a person can bare... and THAT is THE line. My line saying "do not cross" .. i'm NOT idiotproof and I do not wish my limit to feel any kind of uhm .. stretch. It only makes me want to hurt people (-.-)