Blue - Fi'i

Oooooooh the misery ..... !
I fell out of inspiration for my beloved drow character.
But .. some explenation is needed.

She's probably still the same person.
Not dead, not gone mental or sidetracked somewhere else in another form.
She's in Eils'Uuthli as far as I know.
.. well look .. just because I play her doesn't mean I know what she's up to .. she usually informs me well enough in advance in order for me to be able to play it.
Now I didn't hear anything for a while ... I think she's on holiday.

Now ... some people might call this schizophrenic.
That I talk about my own character in the third form.
Personally, I disagree, I think it's more healthy to refer to her that way.
Simply because she's not me. Not even a little. It's a character, heavily simplified opposed to a real person.
To call her 'me' instead of 'mine' would in my humble opinion be much more detrimental if I happen to be in pissy mood one day.
Is she a part of me?
Probably.
She's the colder side of me.
The unfeeling side. The blind ambitious side.
The side of me that would have developed further .. it was already there... if given the opportunity. Up to this day .. always have and always will .. see myself as person being able to make my own decisions and have my own opinion.
COINCIDELY ... that means you have choices.
If you don't think you have choices .. you can MAKE them.
And you can choose wich sides of you you wish to kindle.
On a personal note ..
I had help (in the form of a turtle).
Without that help it would have been more difficult for me, and for Blue.

About turtles ..
My very own turtle (lol .. *kiss*)
Who I've come to think of as the male counterpart of me.
If I'd been born a man and he a woman ... we'd probably be eachother.
I've encountered an insane ammount of jealousy , regarding the fact I like to spend every free minute I have with him.
From various sources.
People telling lies to my face, and his.
(namely about me being married in rl)
People trying to make me think I'm better off without any of those kind of personal endeavors.
(namely : I came online one day in a bit of shitty mood and he wasn't online, (for good reason) when a female "friend" came to convince me of "well if he ain't here when you're feeling shitty then why are you together?"... exactly those words... i could elaborate on the situation but then I'd feel compelled to name calling .................... )

To cut matters short.
He's ('you' are) MY turtle.
I don't share.
I'm happy.
Who doesn't like it .. can go fuck themselves.