Did Not Sleep Well

Ugh

Things have gone to fast track suddenly.

Buy or don't buy.

Here's a rough estiment : 120 000 of wich 30 000 I need to get myself, my own means, some way or another.
But a total some of the first number and i just ... receive the key and the purchase is rounded.

Three other candidates.
Of wich I'm the fourth, in my case the sale could go very quickly, not taking months to round up as with the other candidates, I'm aware of the existant paperworks, deliverers and social secretariat.

Darn I even called my mom for advice.
And overall I feel sick with tension and extremely tired.

If one of the other candidates buy the place ... I'll probably be out of a job, one couple of candidates where particularly enthousiastic.

So yesterday I made an official statement to the current owners (my boss) , that I'm the fourth candidate for purchase.
My coming off-days (or weekend) I'll be going through banks to get a loan.
One bank (my least favorite) has (in the past) already approved of a loan for 100 000.
So that would mean I'd need to get only 20 000 in other ways.
Yet their conditions are uhm .. harsh... 10% interest, so that's 110 000 you'll be paying back in total. No, I'll be paying back.

It's not that I haven't been thinking about buying the place with a funny name where I work now. It's not opportune to be asking for another year to find funds .
It's not personal , just business, I'd be seling to the first who comes up with money too, just to be covering my own back.

The fact of the matter simply is : I don't want to do another job.
I really love what I'm doing now.
The thing is, I have a shitload of degrees in various bulshit.
But I like : none of it, I can't see myself doing that shit , any of it , what-so-ever.
Sales: oh c'mon, any monkey can do that, and every monkey in town already IS doing that.
Beekeeping: I love that, just there's no money in it.
Police: FUCK YOU , i like my weedsmoking !
Pc operating : oh bloody hell .... *yawn*... thinkg of being fired in my first week for sleeping on the job.
Chef in another restaurant: Errrrr .... I already feel I'm working a lot and if i'm going to work twelve hours each day every day , it's gonna be for MY restaurant, not someone else's.
Office jobs at the departement of like-I-give-a-shit : asking the question is to answer it ...
Accountancy : Since I'm already getting that degree at this very moment as wiht business management : I'm not that bad at number crunching, at all !


Oh hell.
It's not like my place (called: Stuffed btw lol you just gotta love that name ) is going to be the only opportunity to buy.
But the circumstances are ideal.
And tthe only problem I feel there to be is : Either I take a leap forward now, or I'll take a step backwards. Wich will create a huge dent in my pride and ego.
That's really .... my only problem right now.